Run, Gavin, Run (Far Away)

Newsom’s presidential daydreams could be the best thing that’s happened to the Golden State in years.

Since moving from Washington, D.C. to California, 25 years ago, I’ve had a front-row seat to the state’s decline, a slow-motion train wreck disguised as a progressive utopia. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching Gavin Newsom at the helm over the past six years, it’s this: the best thing that could happen to California is for him to keep running for President. The more time he spends out of state, fantasizing about 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the safer we are here at home.

Think about it. California today is like a trust fund kid who maxed out Dad’s credit card on kombucha and crypto. We’re facing a structural budget deficit north of $20 billion, largely because of Newsom’s decision to blow a hole in the state’s budget by providing Medi-Cal coverage to illegal immigrants, a move so absurd he only recently stopped granting such benefits to new applicants. He also perfected the skill of patching budget gaps with reserve funds and accounting tricks worthy of a Vegas magician.

California is unquestionably the least affordable state.

Housing costs are #1 in the nation, higher than Mount Shasta. They are twice the national average. Rents in L.A., San Francisco, and San Diego now rival those in Manhattan. We have the highest marginal tax rate in the country at 13.3%. A gallon of gas is 43% more expensive than the national average and, with the impending closure of yet another major oil refinery here, could soon match the price of a decent bottle of wine. We have the highest gas taxes in the country, yet our roads are some of the worst. Meanwhile, utility bills, 60% above the national average, don’t just sting, they read like ransom notes from PG&E.

Child care, groceries, and insurance all cost 10–25% more than the national average due to labor costs, regulations, and zoning laws that limit supply. Homelessness? It’s our fastest-growing industry. Nearly 30% of the U.S. homeless population lives in California. Education? Despite shoveling cash into K–12 like coal into a furnace, our test scores regularly scrape the bottom of national rankings. California kids aren’t being prepared for college—they’re being prepared to live in tents.

And how does Governor Newsom pass his time?

Suing Trump over troop deployments to halt riots, cooking up gerrymanders that would make Tammany Hall blush, and calling the President a “son of a bitch” on national TV. Californians might not have affordable housing, working roads, or schools that teach kids to read, but, boy, do we have a governor auditioning to be America’s top insult comic.

Gavin Gruesome to the Rescue

Here’s the irony: every time Newsom clashes with Trump, his approval ratings among progressives rise again. Democrats, holding a supermajority here, may despise how much rent they pay, but they love the showmanship. The good news? When he’s in the political cage match, he’s too busy to come up with new “solutions” that worsen our problems.

So, the best thing that could happen to California right now? Keep Gavin Newsom running for president. Get him distracted with Iowa diners and hog farmers, New Hampshire town halls, and awkward handshakes in the Rust Belt. Keep him away from Sacramento, where he might, God forbid, try to “fix” something again.

Let him give speeches in Des Moines about saving democracy while potholes in Fresno swallow entire sedans. Let him charm donors in Manhattan while Californians burn through their paychecks on gas and electricity. Let him stay laser-focused on national stagecraft, because every hour Gavin’s out of state is an hour California is spared his governance.

In fact, the biggest public service Newsom could do for his beloved California isn’t universal health care or a failed high-speed rail. It’s announcing his 2028 run as soon as possible and never looking back. His absence will be the only true gift he leaves behind.

For once, the greatest service Gavin Newsom could perform for Californians is to keep serving Gavin Newsom.