Jake Tapper’s Casablanca Moment

Discovering the Story He Fully Buried

Jake Tapper, CNN's polished anchor and recent convert to the Church of the Blindingly Obvious, has broken the news that—brace yourself—there may have been a conspiracy by White House staff to hide President Biden’s mental decline. Tapper is promoting this “explosive” revelation as part of his latest project, a not-so-thinly-veiled attempt to rebrand himself as a truth-teller after years of playing the part of a palace guard with a press pass.

It's hard not to recall Captain Renault in Casablanca, who, after turning a blind eye to Rick’s Café every night, declares with great theatricality, “I’m shocked—shocked!—to find that gambling is going on in here!” Of course, a croupier promptly hands him his winnings.

Jake Tapper, ladies and gentlemen, is now collecting his.

For four years, Tapper and his colleagues at CNN wore out the rewind button on their spin machines, explaining away Biden’s senior moments as “gaffes,” “verbal stumbles,” “a stutter,” or “folksy charm.” When Biden forgot names, confused countries, froze in mid-sentence, or wandered off like your great-uncle at a picnic, Tapper dismissed Biden’s critics as conspiracy theorists or MAGA radicals. Now, while his credibility as a newsman deteriorates faster than CNN’s ratings, Tapper is shocked—shocked!—to learn there was a problem.

But Tapper isn’t alone in his one-man stage act of journalistic rediscovery. He’s joined by a chorus of fellow media insiders who, after years of serving as PR consultants for the Biden White House, have suddenly recalled their job descriptions.

Enter Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski, the morning duo of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, whose marital chemistry is matched only by their synchronized gaslighting. For three years, they assured viewers that Biden was sharp, capable, and “more energetic than people half his age.” They mocked concerns as “right-wing smears,” even as the president stumbled, froze, and referred to deceased lawmakers as if they were in the room. Give them a week and they’ll both be shocked—shocked!—that anyone ever said Biden was fit in the first place.

And let’s not forget Abby Phillip of CNN, the sober, serious journalist delivering capital-T Truths. For years, Phillip helped steer the conversation away from Biden’s memory lapses with smooth transitions and eyebrow-arching incredulity at anyone who dared suggest the president may not be all there. She was the cool, controlled operator of the newsroom firewall—until now, when she, too, is suddenly discovering “concerning patterns” in Biden’s public appearances.

The Tapper Doctrine, apparently, is “cover it up until I can cover it in hardcover.” Scarborough’s principle? “Never let integrity get in the way of access.” Abby Phillip’s? “Say nothing while it matters, say it only when it’s safe.”

This isn’t journalism. This is retroactive damage control.

Let’s be clear. Presidents come and go. That’s the rhythm of democracy. But when the press corps abandons truth for access, and when its marquee names confuse covering power with covering for power, democracy doesn’t just skip a beat—it starts coding-blue on the table. Additionally, when its most prominent figures bury a story until it’s politically useful—or personally profitable—they cease to be journalists and become something worse: co-conspirators.

In the end, this isn’t a story about Joe Biden’s decline; it’s about the press’s. The American media—once the vanguard of truth in a democracy—lost its way long ago and lost it even further in 2016 when Donald Trump was first elected, and no amount of shocked expressions from its anchors can cover that up.

It’s easier to write the history of a cover-up you once abetted than to apologize for betraying your duty to uncover it. Meanwhile, Tapper plays the shocked investigator. The rest of us are left wondering whether the press will ever again play the part it was meant to.

Until then, here’s looking at you, Jake.