“And Now for Something Completely Delusional . . . ”

In California and beyond, the scoreboard is just another social construct.

It was a big weekend in American high school sports, or what remains of it. A new athletic standard is emerging in progressive states such as California, Oregon, Washington, and Minnesota: the less connected to biological reality you are, the more likely you are to win.

Let’s start with California. In a bold new experiment in athletic equity, or perhaps merely an equity of delusion, California high school officials have introduced an innovative workaround to the issue of boys dominating girls’ sports. At the California State Track Finals last weekend, AB Hernandez, a trans-identifying male athlete, soared to victory in the girls’ high jump and triple jump. Rather than confront the elephant doing backflips on the balance beam, the California Interscholastic Federation (CIF) instead awarded "dual gold medals,” one to Hernandez and one to the top-finishing girl born female, as a sort of consolation prize for losing a rigged game.

Some call this a compromise. Others call it a participation trophy with a hormone patch.

Meanwhile, in Oregon, a trans-identifying male athlete won gold in the girls’ 200m sprint, causing the crowd to erupt in confusion. Spectators cheered, protested, and some reportedly just walked out, unsure whether they had attended a track meet or a performance art piece. The event organizers provided no explanation, but we can assume a runner-up was also given a “real girl” medal, tucked discreetly into an envelope marked Please Don’t Sue Us.

In Washington, another trans athlete dominated the 400m dash in the state’s high school track and field championship for a second year. The “second” and “third” place finishers refused to join the “winner” atop the podium. Next year, insiders say, they may eliminate the competition altogether and hand out affirmation ribbons at check-in.

In Minnesota, where equity is now a contact sport, Marrisa Rothenberger – a biological boy – led Champlin Park High School’s softball team by pitching a 14-inning shutout over Rogers High School’s girls to win the Class 4A Section 5 Softball Championship. Presumably, as defending state champions, the girls at Rogers should have spent more time in gender studies classes.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t about inclusion. It’s about control over language, over biology, over the scoreboard, and ultimately over truth itself. In California, if you lose to a biological male in a girls’ event, don’t worry! You’ll still receive a shiny medal with an asterisk, a pat on the head, and a polite lie.

This brave new world of athletics is beginning to resemble a Monty Python sketch: “Everyone gets a gold medal, and no one is allowed to notice the five o’clock shadow on the winner’s podium.” And heaven forbid you speak up. Ask the parents and protesters at the track meets, who were treated as if they’d unleashed biological warfare for daring to suggest that fairness matters.

So let’s be clear. This is not about inclusion. This is indoctrination disguised as sportsmanship. It’s not about letting people be who they are; it’s about forcing the rest of us to pretend we don’t see what we see.

If you’re a teenage girl competing in competitive sports in any of these states, the message is loud and clear: run fast, jump high, and prepare to lose to someone with a Y chromosome and a good lawyer.

Worse, the media covers this as if it’s a courageous breakthrough. Headlines praise trans athletes as “shattering boundaries,” which they certainly are, along with records that took female athletes years to achieve. If fairness in sports now means rigging the race and calling it a tie, we’re not just failing our daughters; we’re mocking them. Now, there are two sets of winners, two sets of rules, and zero courage among the adults in charge.

And the public? Caught in a moral chokehold. Speak out, and you’re branded a bigot. Stay silent, and you’re complicit in watching girls get erased from their own podium.

But here’s a prediction: this charade won’t last. The absurdity is too obvious, the backlash too loud, and the silence of bullied teenagers is beginning to shatter. Girls are speaking out. Parents are fed up. And the public is finally starting to see this for what it is -- not progress, but the politicized dismantling of truth.

Until then, enjoy the medal. You may not have won the race, but in California and its satellite states of delusion, you’ve won the moral lottery by pretending it’s all fine.